


The gang breaks up a wedding

by the_wildcard



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: F/F, F/M, I wanted him here but w/e, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Rip country mac, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-05-27 19:45:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6297679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_wildcard/pseuds/the_wildcard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie and Mac's moms are engaged to get married. Dennis, Mac, and Frank will do anything to stop it. This was to be expected</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

Dennis and Dee come into Paddy's. Mac is yelling at Charlie loudly, but not loudly enough to scare away their inadequate amount of customers. Frank's asleep in a booth, somehow unperturbed by Mac's angry outbursts. 

"That is completely unfair!" Mac is yelling angrily, pointing a finger at Charlie, who looks like he's about to yawn. "You're taking it out of context!" While they argue, Dee and Dennis go to stand behind the bar counter, and each grab a beer. Eleven am is an acceptable time to start drinking, anyway. Dennis smiles, and takes a small pull from his beer.

"There is no context, Mac!" Charlie's voice is tired, like they've been having the same argument for a while. "What's up?" Dee butts in, and raises her eyebrows. Charlie straightens his back when he makes eye contact with Dee, and turns to look back at Mac. Mac's looking at Dennis, bracing himself for what Charlie's about to say.

"Mac said he would rather blow Chris Evans than Cobie Smulders." The twins expressions fall from having expected something new. Mac's "suppressed" homosexuality's no longer fun to joke about. It's just sad. It's been sad far before boat jail, but since then it's just gotten increasingly pitiful.

"Oh, man," Dennis says empathetically. "Really god damn pathetic," Dee says to herself, and takes a rather large drink of beer. "It's taken out of context," Mac tries weakly. Dennis narrows his eyes, "okay. So tell us, what was the right context, Mac?" 

He opens his mouth to speak. When after a moment he says nothing, Dennis reaches across the bar, and with his empty hand, closes Mac's mouth. "You'll catch flies." Mac scowls, but a subtle blush spreads over his cheeks and ears. 

Frank stirs on the couch when the bar's phone begins to ring, and he sits up, yawning loudly. They all look at Charlie, and he wordlessly accepts the task to answer the phone. "I swear to god, if it's another prank call-" he picks up the receiver and puts it up to his face. 

"What?" He says excitedly into the receiver. "That's great news! Okay, yeah. We'll pack our things!" Charlie's grinning widely, jaw hanging open, and Mac glances at Dennis. "You didn't tell him he'll catch flies." Dennis shoots Mac a glare, but soon turns his attention back to Charlie, whose now hung up the phone. 

He's still smiling. "So?" Frank says, now pulling himself up into a bar stool. Charlie looks at each member of the gang, but stops on Mac. "Our mom's are getting married." Mac narrows his eyes. 

"What?" Charlie nods happily, "yeah... to each other!" Dee smiles, "hey, that's great." She turns to look at Mac who's expressionless. Even when Charlie practically runs to Mac to hug him, he's at a loss for words. 

When Charlie wraps his arms around Mac's neck, Mac doesn't move. So many words are swirling around in his head, he's not sure he'd be able to voice them if he wanted to. But when Charlie squeezes just slightly down on his shoulder, Mac does smile. 

Whether their parents are married or not, him and Charlie will always be brothers. They will always have each other's back, because that's how it's always been. They don't need to be related to be family. 

Mac wraps his arms tightly around his oldest friends waist, and decided then that he will stop this wedding at whatever lengths necessary.


	2. Irrational

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis begins contemplating how charlie and mac's mother's marriage will affect him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am already giving up on this fic. It was an experiment gone wrong. A test that I've failed.

They were told about the wedding at the very last minute. Mac and Charlie's mother's are getting married in two days, and the drive to the resort they're having it is about a ten hour drive away. Dee, Dennis, and Mac had wasted no time getting back to Sweet Dee's apartment to get together all of their things. 

Mac doesn't say anything while packing that night. He stuffs his Navy pants and crude t-shirts into his duffel bag aggressively, yet not making a sound. "Hey, you should probably pack a tux, huh?" Dennis says from his place on the couch, one arm draped over the top of the couch. Mac looks up at him, brows furrowed, but besides that his features are soft. 

"I don't have a tuxedo, Dennis." His voice is tired, and he lowers himself down next to Dennis, who already finished packing his bag. Which is odd. Dennis folded every item of clothing precisely in his bag, yet he still finished before Mac, who has no sense of organization whatsoever. 

"You can borrow one of mine," Dennis answers, and smiles gently at his friend. They both know Mac will hardly be able to fit into Dennis' suit, but it isn't what either of them are focused on at the moment. "You okay, buddy?" Dennis' voice is soft, and Mac narrows his eyes, looking to the floor. Dennis being gentle is something rare. 

"Yeah," he says absently, then gets up and goes to Dee's bedroom. Dennis hears them talking, Mac is asking her something. She doesn't like the question. Dennis folds his hands in his lap and bites down on his lip so hard that he can hear the skin ripping in between his teeth.  
Charlie and Mac's mom's getting married can only mean one thing, and it isn't good. 

Charlie and Mac will become brothers. Real brothers. And then they'll be closer than ever. They'll start doing and sharing everything together like they did when they were younger, before Dennis and Dee came into their lives. Dennis will be left out to watch on the sidelines, and they will forget about him in time. And it probably won't take long.

Dennis feels tears stinging at the back of his eyes, and blood from his lip dribbling down his chin. He goes to the bathroom to wash his face and to pull himself together. He can only achieve one of those things. 

"Good news," Mac says lowly when Dennis comes back into the living room from the bathroom. Mac is standing, arms crossed. Dennis is almost positive he was just pacing. "I convinced Dee to let us bring her car tomorrow." Dennis grins, and glances to his sister's closed bedroom door. 

When they were younger they would put each other to sleep instead of their nanny. It's a random thought to have, and Dennis shutters. "Good, that's uh," he shakes his head, "good." Mac nods, goes to the hammock, and clumsily crawls into it. 

"Can you turn off the light?" Mac asks, looks at the ceiling, and Dennis admires him while his friends unaware. Mac has washed the oil from his hair, leaving it unruly and wild. It's not ideal, but it certainly beats the slicked back imitation of his father. He hasn't shaved his face in a couple of days, and Dennis wonders if he will clean it up before his mother's wedding. Or if he'll leave his facial hair long, maybe as an act of defiance. It doesn't matter either way. Dennis is going to make sure there is no wedding.

"Dennis," Mac sounds tired, and so Dennis does switch off the light, in the process, he tiptoes to his sister's room, opening the door and slipping his lithe body through the crack. "Hm?" Dee had heard him, and Dennis almost turns right back around and pretend to have not even come in. 

"Hey, sis," he says quietly. He sees her silhouette sit up in bed. Dennis steps towards her bed, stubbing his toes innumerably to get there. He lowers himself next to her, sitting just on the edge of the bed. "What the fuck, Dennis?" She's half awake and he smiles with nostalgia. 

"Remember when we used to tuck each other in?" He says it quietly so that maybe Dee will think she's misheard him. "Yeah," she laughs, and then lies back down on her back. "Dee," he starts tucking her comforters under her, "what do you think about this wedding?" She sighs. "Dennis, don't ruin this for them." He scoffs, and pulls his hands away from her bedsheets. "Wh- I wouldnt-" she cuts him off. 

"You're scared that Charlie and Mac will grow closer without you. That since they'll be actual brothers, Mac will no longer care about you, and since Mac won't be worshipping you, Charlie won't see the need in talking to you. All of this sounding right?" Dennis would usually explode, yell, maybe stomp is feet. But for some reason he doesn't feel like fighting. 

"Dennis, you're ridiculous. Your crippling fear of abandonment is irrational." He can't see her in the dark light of her bedroom, but he imagines he can. He imagines the smile that she gave him when they were holding hands underwater, prepared to die together, hand in hand. His breath catches in his throat. "Thank you." Her hand wraps around his, and squeezes briefly. 

"Love you, Sweet Dee." He stands, and begins to leave, not expecting a response. She's never given him one because he doesn't deserve one. Her voice is soft when he opens her bedroom door. "I love you too, Dennis."

He makes his way to the couch in the pitch black. It takes him almost an hour to fall asleep, the entire time he listens to the quiet and rhythmic snores coming from Mac.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dee/Dennis in this came out of nowhere. I just want these two to love each other.  
> Please comment if you like this and want be to continue it, I need motivation


	3. Road trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank and Dennis team up

After loading up Dee's car with all of their luggage, they drive to Charlie and Frank's, ready to hit the road. 

Somehow, they convinced Dee to drive them, which may not be a good idea because she can pull over as often as she needs. 

"Who's ready for a road trip!" Charlie yells, crawling into the backseat of the car, in the middle of Dennis and Frank (Mac had insisted to sit in the passenger seat). They all start cheering and cracking beers open as Dee revs the engine and pulls away. 

 

Less an hour later, Mac and Charlie have already fallen asleep, leaving Frank and Dennis alone in the back seat, with a snoring Charlie in between them. For a while, they don't say much, and Dennis lights his third cigarette. Dee groans loudly over the sound of the radio when she notices; she hates the smell of smoke. 

"Dennis," Frank says lowly so that Dee won't be able to hear him over the music (Rick Astley). Dennis looks down in Frank's general direction, cigarette hanging lazily from between his lips. "What?"

"Look, we both know you're the brains of the group, right?" Dennis perks up at this, and takes his cigarette in his hand, between his long fingers. He'd always thought of himself as the brains, the looks, and, recently, the wildcard. He really was a jack of all trades. "Yeah, I suppose you could say that. What're you getting at, Frank?" 

Frank glances at Charlie, who is snoring and drooling in the seat between the two men, and then continues. "I know you don't want this wedding to happen any more than I do," Dennis glares, "I mean, losing my bang maid? That's a big deal for me!" 

"Frank, you and Mrs. Kelly's thing was, what, eight years ago? I doubt you'll be able to reel that fish back in." Frank leans in subtly, and raises his eyebrows. "Oh I'll lure her back in Dennis, don't you doubt that."

"What are we talking about?" Dennis raises his voice, not caring if he wakes Charlie. The kid probably wouldn't listen to what they're saying, anyway. "I'm just saying, you don't want this wedding happening. I don't want this wedding happening. We can team up." Dennis flicks his cigarette out the cracked window, and looks back to Frank. 

"Fine. What's your plan?" 

 

The drive to the resort is long and taxing, as you'd expect. Halfway there, Dennis had to take the wheel because Dee had begun to fall asleep. She said it was because they hadn't allowed her anything to drink to keep her awake, but that is beside the point. 

When Mac finally woke up he whined until Dennis finally said he could change the radio to listen to the terrible music he somehow enjoys. Frank yelled at him to stop forcing his music taste on the rest of them. Dee never stopped complaining that Charlie kept touching her. 

"Charlie, stop touching Dee," Mac's voice authoritative and final. "I'm not touching her," Charlie's was a screech. Mac just turned the radio up until he couldn't hear either of them arguing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my chapters are really short, I think once I get deeper into the story, they'll get longer


	4. The arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang gets to the hotel they're staying in and sort out their living arrangements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I obviously don't know how to title these chapters anymore. Please bare with me.

"I'm sorry, but like I said before, there are only two available rooms." The woman at the front desk of the hotel sounds nervous, as she should. The entire gang is practically seething. 

They had thought they'd each get a room to themselves, even if for just one night. "What was the point in coming if we can't get our own rooms," Charlie says loudly, Dennis gives him a look, wondering if Charlie even knows what he just said. 

"To see your mother get married?" Dennis sounds angry and arrogant, causing Charlie to begin to yell at him. Mac tries to tune them out. 

He supposes this is what they get for being so late. The wedding is the next morning, they shouldn't have expected to get good rooms. And to top it all of, the drive there had lasted an extra two hours, due to all the bathroom breaks, leaving them to get to the hotel at seven pm, exhausted and stir crazy. 

"Frank and I can share a room," Dennis had said too quickly, once he had finished listening to Charlie's tantrum. Mac can almost feel himself recoil. Him and Dennis always shared rooms without question, why is it different this time? Of course he doesn't say anything out loud. 

That leaves him with Charlie and Dee, which he guesses isn't too bad, unless they start doing the weird flirting thing they do when they're alone. Sometimes even when they aren't alone. 

Mac sighs when he glances at Charlie and Dee. They're standing close, shoulders touching, and they high five after realizing they're going to be sharing a room. 

This is going to be a long night.

 

"Hey, is there a bar at this place?" Dee is shoving her clothes into the hotels only dressor, and Mac watches her with interest, and then shrugs. "I hope so," he answers, mostly to himself. 

Charlie comes out of the bathroom, smiling. Both of his hands are full of the complementary toiletries that the hotel provided. "Good news guys," he says, "the shampoo is really tasty." Mac narrows his eyes. "Did you eat the shampoo, Charlie?" 

His friend draws his eyebrows together, but doesn't deny it. 

"Charlie! Let me smell your breath," Mac stands and strides across the room to stand in front of Charlie, who opens his mouth hesitantly. Mac smells his breath, and immediately retaliates, and covers his mouth with his hand. 

"Charlie, you can't eat shampoo!" Mac looks to Dee, hoping for her to back him up. She just shrugs, "that's probably the only way we're gonna get him to touch shampoo." Mac opens his mouth to say something, and turns back to Charlie. 

He's lifting another miniature shampoo bottle too his lips. "Dee!" She's looking at Charlie with contempt, yet she still says, "let the kid do what he wants, Mac." 

Charlie nods, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Yeah. Hey, I'm your older brother now, you have to listen to what I say." Charlie's smiling and puffing out his chest. Mac resists his instinct to punch Charlie in the face. 

"Whatever, you guys are idiots, I'm outta here."


	5. The plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find out what Dennis and Frank's (ridiculous) plan for breaking up the wedding is.   
> Dennis goes to find Charlie and Dee.

"Okay, Frank. Let's get the ball rolling." 

Dennis begins rubbing his hands together, already imagining how this scheme will play out. Frank will call his exotic animal guy, they're gonna get a wild boar dropped off in a crate tonight, and then release it tomorrow during the wedding, effectively ruining the ceremony. Flawless. 

"What?" Frank squints up at Dennis from his place on his bed, and Dennis rolls his eyes, throwing his hands down. 

"Come on, let's get this plan in action." 

Frank still doesn't register what Dennis is saying, and he groans. Dennis swears to himself (for the millionth time) that when Frank completely loses his mind, he isn't gonna take care of him. 

"The plan. We're ruining the wedding. So you can keep your 'bang maid'." Frank squints suspiciously. "What's in it for you?" Spit flies from his mouth. 

"Don't worry about what's in it for me, Jesus, just call your animal guy." Frank shrugs, pulls his phone out, and dials a phone number.

Dennis can hear someone pick up, which is when Frank waves him out of their bedroom. Dennis scowls, but still leaves their room, closing the door behind him a little louder than necessary. 

He decides to go to Mac, Charlie, and Dee's room. It's only three doors down from his. 

He knocks loudly until someone opens the door. It's Dee, and she rolls her eyes them she sees who it is, but still steps back, inviting her brother in.

"Mac isn't here, dickweed." Dennis smiles, and looks around the room. It looks the same as his. Two beds next to each other, a cheap television on top of a dark wooden dresser. 

Charlie is on the bed next to the window, sitting with his legs crossed, mini bottles of shampoo litter his bed and the carpet around it. 

Dennis ignores Dee's statement, and instead sits down at the edge of Charlie's bed. "Whatcha doing, buddy," Dennis does a good job of making his voice sound equally condescending and soothing.

Charlie lowers the bottle, and eyes Dennis. "Just drinking shampoo. The conditioners too filling." Dennis narrows his eyes, and glances at Dee, who has laid down on her respective bed. She's watching the TV, and shrugs at Dennis, keeping her eyes on the screen. 

"Why?" 

"I'm celebrating, man. My mom is finally getting married again." 

Instead of telling Charlie that he's going to get sick, or ask why he's celebrating with soap, he says, "why don't we just go get wasted?" 

Charlie perks up at the suggestion, and glances at Dee, who is now looking at them. "Yeah I think the hotel has a bar downstairs," she says, already sitting up and pulling on her sneakers. 

"Hey," Dennis holds up a hand, and then stands. "I didn't ask you, Dee." She smiles crassly and folds her arms. "Well guess what, boner, I'm coming anyway." 

Dennis feels almost pride bloom in his chest at his sister. The other night was a moment of weakness. A moment of feeling, which he doesn't have often. And when he does have them he usually doesn't voice them. He's glad they're back to normal. 

"Charlie wants me to come, don't you Charlie?" They both look at Charlie, their eyes watching him threateningly, each of them silently threatening him. Charlie glances at the both of them, and then looks back down at the shampoo bottles. It's hard to believe that he's the oldest of the gang (excluding Frank of course). 

Finally Dennis breaks the silence. "Okay, fine Dee you can come. Just keep your squawking to a minimum."


	6. Drinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie, Dee, and Dennis go to the hotels bar to find Mac already there

Dennis, Dee and Charlie go downstairs to find the hotels bar. It's fairly crowded, considering its about seven pm on a Saturday, but Dennis' eyes still somehow find Mac almost immediately. 

He's sitting at the bar, slightly hunched over, clutching a beer tightly in his hand. They all walk to where he's sitting and sit next to Mac (Dee has to drive a guy away because there were only two available stools left). 

"Hey, dude," Mac looks startled when he notices that it's them, like he was pulled out of some sort of trance. "Oh, hey guys." Mac takes a big gulp of beer, and he looks so pathetic that Dennis almost feels bad for him. Almost does something stupid, like comfort him. 

Instead, he'll stay true to his word, and get them all wasted. "Bartender, eight shots over here." Dennis doesn't care what they drink, as long as it's something other than shampoo. 

They each down two shots with no trouble, and so Dennis buys them all two more. And then another two more. Now they're each nursing a beer. 

Mac and Charlie are facing each other, talking about something loudly, and Dennis glares. They aren't even fucking brothers yet and they're already ignoring him. He feels the anger bubbling in his chest, and he wonders if the hotel keeps stock of zip ties or rope. 

"Dennis," Dee puts her hand on his forearm, and he snaps his attention to her, glaring. He feels like he's about to explode. Before she has time to say anything, though, his phone begins ringing. 

It's Frank, and he answers eagerly, already feeling the anger melt away. "Yeah," he answers, slightly irritated when he feels Dee's eyes still on him. 

"The guys got the boar and he's got someone bringin' it right now. Said he'd be here in about fifteen minutes." Dennis nods, realizes Frank can't see him, and replies curtly, "see you soon, then." He hangs up, and glances at Charlie and Mac before standing. 

"Dennis wait," Dee stands, following him to the hotels elevator. "What, Dee?" He continues taking long strides, avoiding making eye contact with his sister. That's usually when he gets soft. 

"Whatever you and Frank are planning just don't." He stops abruptly, causing Dee to run into his back unceremoniously. "Dee," he takes a deep breath and turns around to face his sister. They're standing in the hotels empty hall. He has her practically against the glaringly yellow wall. 

"You don't know what it's like to be ignored. To have your potential completely squandered because someone can't see it. I can't have that happen with Charlie and Mac." Dee's face contorts in confused anger. Dennis finds it unattractive, and is about to comment on it, until she practically shrieks, "I don't know what it's like to be ignored?" 

He nods his head, and then narrows his eyes. "And if you tell either of those idiots that I'm trying to stop this train wreck waiting to happen then i'll-" Dee cuts him off. "You'll cut me up into little pieces. Yeah, already heard that spiel before. And anyway, if I want to tell Mac what you're planning then you can't stop me." 

Dennis bites down on the inside of his mouth so hard he begins to taste metal. "You bitch." She smiles, crosses her arms and leans back against the wall. "I'll tell Mac all about how in love you are with him. And then you won't even have to stop the wedding, because then he'll ignore you either way." 

Dee doesn't know why she kept going. She can tell how angry the last comment made him. Especially when he clenches a first so tightly his knuckles are white. Dee doesn't think he could ever hit her, but she's not too sure. 

He swings his fist so suddenly that she doesn't have any time to react. But surprisingly, it collides with the wall beside her head. Dennis looks at the hole he made with his now bruised fist before turning without another word, and goes into the stairwell to get back to his room.


	7. Skunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the shortest chapter literally ever written

After a few minutes of sitting with Frank and waiting, Dennis hears a knock on the door. It's loud, and there's a new Jersey accent from the other side of the door yelling, "delivery!" 

Dennis looks at Frank questioningly, who nods. This is their guy. Dennis let's Frank stand to receive their crate, and he watches as the old man drags in the heavy looking box. 

"Alright," Dennis stands and begins rubbing his hands together. "Let's see what we got here!" Frank kneels down beside the wooden box. He begins to pry it open with his bare hands, clawing with his fingernails, and maybe Dennis would say something if he really cared. 

When the box finally opens, it must be five minutes later, and Dennis is sitting tiredly on the edge of the hotel bed. He jumps up, however, when he realizes that the animal in the box is not a boar, like they were expecting, but a skunk. It's curled up in the corner of the box, looking ready to attack. 

"Woah! Frank, what the hell?" Frank looks just as confused as Dennis because he jumps up as fast as he can from the scratchy carpet next to the crate.

On its own, the skunk hops out of the box, and begins to walk around the perimeter of the room. Dennis strides quickly to the door when he sees it's tail lift slightly, as if about to spray. 

"Okay well I'm out of here," his hand is on the doorknob when Frank speaks out. "Wait, you can't just leave me here!" He's sitting, legs curled to his chest. Dennis notices how his shoes leave dirt on the white bedspread. 

"Uh, sure I can." He grins at Frank before opening the hotel door and promptly walking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if you guys were expecting any descent writing from this fic. I'm just trying to get it done at this point, tbh


	8. The lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac's being a dick, Charlie and Dee don't want to deal with him

After Dennis left and Dee came back, the three had begun drinking hard alcohol again but with Mac probably drinking twice as much as them. 

"Mac, maybe slow it down," Charlie's voice is gentle but high, and it hurts Mac's head. He glares at his future brother in law. "Fuck off, Charlie." Who was he to tell Mac to slow it down? The kid probably drank more shampoo today than water. 

Charlie looks at Dee for backup, but she hasn't said much since she got back from talking to Dennis. She narrows her eyes at Mac in annoyance. "Who shoved a stick up your ass?" Mac looks up. "There's nothing up my ass." Dee rolls her eyes, grabs Charlie's jacket sleeve and begins to pull him away. 

"Whatever, get back to us when you're being less of a dick." Charlie doesn't ask where Dee is dragging him, because, frankly, he doesn't care. Charlie just let's her lead him outside of the hotel into the parking lot. They walk drunkenly, and he tries to decipher what she's mumbling to herself. 

"Got it," she pulls her keys out of her jeans back pocket and lifts them grinning. Charlie smiles back. 

Dee leads Charlie to her brand new car, and he settles into the passenger seat next to her. "Where are we gonna go?" Dee sighs. "Is there like a hot springs around her? I feel like I saw signs for them around here somewhere." Asking Charlie is pointless because he can't read, especially not billboards that go by in seconds. 

"Whatever, I'll find them." She starts the car, and Charlie watches as she skillfully maneuvers the car through the parking lot, despite the fact that she's drunk. He is too, that's why he thinks that she's the coolest girl he knows and that's why he admires her hair, which covers her profile. 

They drive down foreign streets, only lit up by street lamps and neon signs until she pulls over suddenly to the side of the road. "Where are we?" Charlie wishes they'd brought alcohol with them because he's already starting to feel the effects wear off. 

"Saw a lake," she slurs her words and when she opens her door she practically falls down. Charlie wonders if she's a light weight or if he's just immune to the effects of alcohol now. 

He gets out of the car, too and sees a small body of water about a hundred feet in front of them. He looks over to wear Dee's standing and has to do a double take. 

"Dee, what are you doing?" She's in her bra and underwear, and Charlie makes sure his eyes don't linger. "What, you think I'm swimming in that water with my clothes on?" He shrugs and pulls his jacket off, watching as Dee shoves her clothes, shoes, and car keys in the backseat. 

He puts his clothes down, until he feels a slight gust of wind, and decides to wear his jacket while swimming. "I'll race you," Dee says, grinning and starts to run before he's even got his sleeves pulled on. 

The water is cold, and snaps him into reality. Dee is still underwater, and he realizes he is too. It's murky and dark, but he can still see her, just floating. She reminds him of a mermaid. Or the loch Ness monster. 

He has to come up for air before she does. "Damn," she says when she comes up. "This is a lot colder than I thought it would be." He nods and follows her out of the lake, and they both plop down in damp grass, facing away from the car. 

"We should play chicken fight," Charlie says absently, watching the lakes water sparkle in the dark. "You need four people to play chicken fight, Charlie." He shrugs and turns to look at her. 

All he sees is her silhouette, but it's okay, because at least she's there. 

They both smell, he can register that. It doesn't bother him anymore. Maybe it bothers Dee, but if it does she doesn't say anything. 

"So you and Mac are gonna be brothers soon enough, huh?" She nudges his shoulder with hers. He grins, and looks back at the lake. "Yeah. I'm really excited. Especially for my mom, you know." He runs his hand through his hair, which is matted to his forehead.

"I can't remember the last time she was with   
someone who made her happy." Dee sighs, and fumbles in the dark to clutch Charlie's hand. He smiles wider, debating whether he should tell Dee that she makes him happy. Too cheesy. 

He leans in to kiss her, instead, and pulls back too quickly. She is the next one to bring them together, and this time the only thing that makes them pull away from each other is the sound of her car door shutting and the engine roaring to life. 

It takes them a second to untangle themselves from each other, and to hop to their feet. "Hey, you jerks!" She's screaming and running towards her car that's already peeling down the road, out of sight.

He stands idly, in the same spot where they were sitting, watching her kick the air and scream. How many cars is that now? Five? Six? 

Charlie walks to where she is and nudges her with his shoulder. "If we don't have a car, we may as well start walking."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously I don't condone drunk driving.


	9. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac visits his mother.

Mac pounds back a few more shots before deciding what he has to do. Talk his mom out of it. After all, she was the one who introduced him to the Catholicism. She was the one who took him to church every Sunday after his dad was thrown in jail. If anyone knew the true reason homosexuality is a sin it would be her. 

He stands unsteadily and begins to walk from the hotels bar while simultaneously calling his mother from his cell phone. "Mom," he would cringe at how drunk his voice sounds if he was a little more sober. "What room are you in?" She groans and answers him. 

It doesn't take Mac long to find his mother's hotel room, and he pounds on her door once he gets there. "Open up, mom." He tries to sound less drunk than he is, but it's useless. 

She opens the door with a cigarette in her mouth, even though this is a no smoking room. She goes back to her bed, and sits, her eyes already staring at the TV. 

Mac begins to pace, thinking of the right words to say. "How can you do this?" He steps in front of the TV, blocking her view of it. She narrows her eyes at her son but doesn't answer. Instead she takes a long drag from her cigarette. 

"Stop smoking and fucking talk to me for once in your life!" He strides to his mother and rips the lit cigarette from her mouth and puts is out on the floor with his boot heel. "Do you want to go to hell?"

She groans and looks up at Mac. His heart is hammering in his chest, not expecting an answer. He's learned to not receive one. "Mac," she grabs her son's hand, and pulls his down on the bed to sit next to her. "Being gay won't send you to hell." His face twists in confusion. 

"Yes it will! It says so in the Bible." She shakes her head, and squeezes her son's hand. "You aren't reading it the right way." She's looking at him with an absent sort of interest, and Mac feels tears welling in his eyes. 

He's overwhelmed. With the fact that his mother is marrying a woman. That's she's talking to him and looking him in the eyes, something she hasn't done in decades. 

"You always told me it was wrong." His voice is shaking, and he pretends it's because he's piss ass drunk. His legs are hanging over the bed, but his feet don't touch the floor. He feels like a child again. 

"That's just what I told myself. Im sorry I projected what I was afraid of onto you, Mac."

He shakes his head in disbelief. 

Thoughts begin to swim through his head of his gay cousins, his father having sex with another man. And now this? Mac starts to laugh so hard that tears slide down his face. In between breaths he says, "our whole family is a bunch of queers."

His mother doesn't answer, and Mac's afraid that she won't, like she so often doesn't. "I want you to speak during the ceremony." 

He looks at his mom with wet cheeks and wide eyes that make her smile. "Okay." Tomorrow morning when he's sober, or maybe sooner than that, he'll probably regret agreeing to this. He'll realize the gravity of this and that his mother is most certainly going to burn in hell. Right now he ignores that part of his mind and let's his mother pull him into a three-decade late embrace. 

When she releases him, he stands unsteadily and heads to the hotel door. He hears her light a cigarette behind him and he almost smiles. 

He steps out of the hotel room, he sees Dennis stalking down the hall, almost angrily, his back to Mac. "Dennis!" He turns around, eyebrows raising in surprise to see Mac walking towards him. 

"Hey, man. What are you doing, that's not your room." He gestures to Mac's mother's hotel room. "Nothing."

"Have you been crying?" It's more of a statement than a question; the tears on Mac's cheeks are enough evidence. "No." He steps in front of Dennis, probably closer than normal bros stand, and lowers his voice. 

"I need to ask you something." Dennis steps closer to Mac, allowing him to continue. The space between them is seemingly nonexistent, and judging by that fact alone Dennis is willing to bet on what Mac is about to propose. It's about ten years due but, hey, Dennis will take someone professing their love unto him at any given time. Late or not. "We have to stop this wedding." 

Dennis narrows his eyes, and takes a large step back. "That's what this is about?" Mac nods, "are you in?" Dennis laughs and runs his hands through his hair, trying to get his mind back on track. He blinks. "I already tried to sabotage this wedding and that plan went down the toilet." 

Mac squints and cocks his head. "Wait, why were you trying to break them up?" Dennis sighs, and tries to turn it into an innocent laugh. 

"Stop these questions. You should just thank me for agreeing to help you." Mac shrugs, and they begin to walk side by side down the hotel's hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think chapter ten is going to be the last one


	10. bruised purple and swollen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mac and dennis decide what to do about this whole wedding fiasco

Having another shot is a mistake, whether the wedding is still on tomorrow or not. Mac knows he's far beyond hangover, and when he wakes up it wont be pretty. But for now it's nice. His best friend is sitting across from him on the hotel's bed, pounding back another shot of tequila. 

The previously pristine white sheets are now stained with alcohol, shampoo, and who knows what else. Mac laughs. They cant go anywhere without leaving a mess. 

Dennis is wasted. They weren't brainstorming for five minutes before he grabbed a bottle of liquor and started to pour the both of them shots. Mac knew he shouldnt have but it was Dennis offering. He would never deny Dennis Reynolds. 

He doesnt ask Dennis why he insisted to come to Mac's hotel room, instead of his own. Frank must be doing something demented with a whore he found in the back alley of a local bar. Mac is only guessing. He's debating whether he should take another shot, but Dennis wedges himself between Mac and his thoughts. He always does. 

"Do you wanna hear a secret." Dennis has scooted so close to Mac, that their folded knees are pressed together. Mac will pretend that he can breathe. "Sure." Dennis stinks of alcohol and something that Mac cant place. His right fist is bruised purple and swollen. 

"I dont want this wedding to happen because," Dennis coughs a little, almost vomiting, "cause I was scared you and Charlie would leave me behind."

Mac narrows his eyes and tears his gaze from the man in front of him. "Why the hell would you think that Dennis?" His eyes are on the clock, its almost five am. It dawns on him that he doesnt want to be wasted at his mothers wedding.

In the back of his mind he knows thay they werent really ever gonna stop this wedding. He and Dennis came back to the room to come up with a scheme to end this wedding once and for all. But look where they are now. 

"I dunno." Dennis grabs the bottle of liquor from Mac's lap, unscrews the lid, and takes a gulp. Theyre past shots, now drinking straight from the bottle. Thats always a sign to just throw the bottle away all together. "You and Charlie were best friends before I even met you two." 

Macs now looking at the tender wound on Dennis' fist. The bruise looks swollen, but they both know Dennis doesn't really want Mac babying him. Not today. "Thats stupid Dennis." 

He remembers what he told Dennis years ago, maybe even before he knew he loved Dennis in a completely homo way. 'What you and i have is much stronger than that.' He had meant it, not that he'd admit it to anyone, especially Dennis. 

Mac hates that he cant say the things he knows people want to hear. He can't admit crucial facts because then maybe he'd have to face his real feelings. Telling his mother that he's ultimately fine with her getting married again if it would make her finally happy. Admitting to Dennis how much he really loves him. Dennis knows, but he wants to hear it said out loud, and Mac could never do that. 

"Dennis." Mac can't breathe, he doesnt know if its anxiety, adrenaline, or a mix of both. "You're," Mac chokes, and again he finds that he cant speak. Dennis is narrowing his eyes, glaring at Mac's cowardice. 'You're the most important person in the world to me.' But he cant say it.

Instead he says, quieter, "That'll never happened, dude." 

And that's that. An unsaid agreement to let his mother have a lesbian wedding with a friend he's had almost as long as he's been alive. 

If Mac's vision wasn't spinning he would see a grin tugging at the edge of Dennis' mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied. Chapter 11 will be the last


	11. The wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding is ON  
> Finally finally finally i got around to finishing this. Its been a long journey

They stay up all night, getting increasingly wasted, and all they seem to do is talk. Maybe its because he's drunk, but Mac likes it this way. It's like theyre in highschool again. Dennis would always come over to Mac's house after Maureen broke up with him, bringing alcohol and seething anger that could only go away after talking to Mac. It's been that way for so long. Sometimes you take things for granted when you're used to them always being there.

"Dude. Isnt the wedding supposed to start in like," Dennis burps, "twenty minutes?" Mac glances at the clock, squinting at the small neon green numbers, trying to allow his eyes to focus long enough to read the time. He gives up after a moment, deciding to take Dennis’ word for it. 

"Shit," Mac hops off the floor, trips on a small shampoo bottle, and falls face first into the carpet. He had rug burn on his palms, his bare knees (when did he take his pants off last night?) and one of his cheeks but its fine because he cant feel a thing. 

"Come on, Den, we're gonna be late!" But instead of rushing to pull on decent clothes or running some water through his hair like Mac's doing, Dennis stares at the bedsheets. Mac hasnt used that nickname on him in years. But instead of pondering on that for much longer, Dennis shakes the thought from his head, and drags his body out of bed. 

Dennis pulls on his socks and shoes, only falling over twice. Mac changes out of the alcohol and sweat drenches tshirt he was in, and into a tshirt with a fake tuxedo on the front of it. He grins at Dennis proudly, who laughs before making his way to the hotel door. 

"Wait, Dennis." He takes his hand off the doorknob and turns around. He almost jumps because Mac is right in front of him, and looks suddenly very solemn. 

Without another word, Mac lifts his hand and gently places it on Dennis' cheek. For a moment they just look at eachother. Dennis pressed up against the door, Macs stomach filling with more and more butterflies after every passing second. He leans in to close the gap and press their lips together. 

Something he's wanted to do for years. Something he's attempted to do multiple times but somehow failed each time. Hes overwhelmed again. Maybe its the alcohol or maybe its the anxiety, but when their lips finally pull apart Mac leans over and vomits next to their feet.

"Damn. Was it that bad?" Dennis asks and laughs breathily. Mac wipes his mouth and makes eye contact with his friend once again. "No, sorry. Shit. Fuck." Dennis laughs again, sidesteps around the vomit, and opens the door. "Lets go watch your mom get married."

He reaches for Mac's hand, and intertwines their fingers before they each make their way out of the hotel room. 

 

The wedding ceremony is small, and by the time Mac and Dennis finally make their way there, it's already started. Frank is in the back row, and no one is sitting within two rows of chairs to him. A stench is wafting off of him that is so disgusting, the boys decide to go to the front row, just to get away from him. 

Bonnie and Mrs. Kelly are standing under an elegant white gazebo, smiling nervously at each other as the priest recites his necessary lines. Mac admires his mothers tuxedo and wishes he had worn something a little bit nicer.

Only a few members of Charlie and Mac's family are there, including Uncle Jack, Charlie's sister, Mac's father and his new lover. His father was released from jail only a few months before, and Mac is glad he showed up today. Hes glad he did, himself. 

His cousin, Brett, is a few rows behind them, next to a man Mac presumes is his husband. He remembers getting a wedding invitation a few years back. He remembers getting wasted that same night and throwing the invitation in the garbage. Maybe he would apologize after all of this is over. 

And as he's looking around, he sees Charlie and Dee standing in the back, looking for somewhere to sit. The only odd thing about that is they're each in their underwear, besides Charlies army jacket around Dee's waist. Mac ignores them and turns back around. 

Only a few moments later, after listening to Brett make a speech, Mac realizes its his turn. Everyone is waiting for him to go up and speak. So he stands on shaky legs and walks up to the gazebo, trying not to look as drunk as he is. 

He stands for a moment, trying to come up with something meaningful on the spot. He sees Dennis smiling gently at him from his spot in the front row.

He sees his cousin back in his seat, and they make eye contact for the first time in years. He sees Frank in the back row, hardly paying attention. He sees Charlie and Dee, still standing in the very back, trying to look respectful while being almost completely naked at a wedding. He sees his father, staring at him, but not in the threatening way he usually does. 

Mac clears his throat. 

"Uh I'm going to recite my favorite bible verse." He clears his throat again. 

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know dick about the bible

**Author's Note:**

> I've never really written a chaptered fic, so any comments would be much appreciated


End file.
